How long is postpartum officially? You ask I shrug Could be for a couple weeks more Could be forever Because darling, really Will we ever be the same? Nothing will ever be the same When your belly expanded, so did your heart And your body still isn’t really completely yours You are nursing You are rocking And cradling Endlessly hugging Will we ever be the same?
These blogs are an ode to new mothers worldwide. With stories like these, we want you to know your feelings are legitimate. That we, us women, should always stand united, even though we mother in different ways. Being honest about postpartum won’t give you the pretty stories, but they are pure. It is all of the raw beauty of Motherhood. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and we believe that to be true. But it takes love and understanding to support a new mother, and who better than other mothers can do that.
The pregnancy of my first child was an intense one. Not so much physically, but mentally. I did not really prepare. I didn’t go to birthing classes and didn’t practice prenatal yoga. I didn’t endlessly buy baby clothes and didn’t read up on how to be a good parent. I just made sure I was aware of how I felt and tried to give in to my own needs. I ate when I was hungry and slept when I was tired. And everyday again I was trying to come to terms with the unbelievable that was happening; I was carrying a child. I promised myself and my unborn baby only a few things: 1. I would not be the mother to force beliefs and opinions on my child, 2. my child would be allowed to say no, 3. I would not post about my child on social media. Yet here I am writing my first blog on something as intimate as being pregnant and giving birth. Why? Because when you become a mother, may this ‘becoming’ take place during the transition of being just one woman to a woman carrying a child, or from being pregnant to having a baby, no one really tells you about how you will not only give birth to a child, but how you will rebirth yourself too. And how you will need the same nurturing, loving and maybe even guidance your baby does when entering this new, sometimes rough and unkind life.
We try hard to make pregnancy a celebration, while even that is not always the case. There is nausea and fatigue. There are aches and pains. But we smile through it because we are thankful and know it will all be worth it. And then after months of helping your baby grow, you do something magical; you help it into the world and all that you thought you knew you now don’t, and simultaneously, just like every other newborn mother before you, you were right about everything you thought to be true. You thank your God or you thank yourself and you might kiss your partner. You cry of happiness or you are just silently in awe and wonder. Your baby is the most beautiful child to have ever walked this earth. No matter which way you delivered your baby, labour was hard work but you would do it all over again, just for the magic of meeting this tiny human again for the first time.
I do think I understand why nobody tells you about postpartum. After a while the shine wears off a bit, and with good reason. There is nothing glamorous about the bloody pads in your huge underwear, and maybe not being able to sit from being stitched up from front to back. People stop checking in on you because their everyday life continues, while the hours in your days feel endlessly long because time kind of ceases to exist and your days are overlapping. You’re shushing and changing all these nappies and nursing or counting the hours until the next feeding. After a couple of weeks your newborn is seen as almost a full member of society while you, his mother, are figuring out these new dynamics still. ‘It’s not about you anymore’ is a common idea about Motherhood. You might even hear your loved ones tell you this. But it is a lie. You are a mother now, but you are also someone’s partner, someone’s friend, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter. You matter still, just as you did before you became a mom.
So no, we would never bother a happy but nervous expectant mother with those very real scenarios. But why don’t we? And why, with second to even eight times mothers, should mothering be less new? You have never been this mother before. In Greek mythology, Atlas was responsible for bearing the weight of the Heavens on his shoulders, but really, I doubt that he could ever. For your baby there will never, never be anything more celestial than you, her mother. And celestial you are. We should tell people to not hold the baby, but hold the mother instead, for your baby will be fine. Your baby has you.
So the real question is always; how are you doing? The postpartum mother. What do you need? How can we help? We, at a mother’s uniform, we know about your world. And we care about catering to it. Welcome to Motherhood. We will share your stories, and will make known all feelings that come with it. We are here to honour mothers, in all of the raw beauty of Motherhood.
Welcome to Motherhood – part I
How long is postpartum officially?
You ask
I shrug
Could be for a couple weeks more
Could be forever
Because darling, really
Will we ever be the same?
Nothing will ever be the same
When your belly expanded, so did your heart
And your body still isn’t really completely yours
You are nursing
You are rocking
And cradling
Endlessly hugging
Will we ever be the same?
These blogs are an ode to new mothers worldwide. With stories like these, we want you to know your feelings are legitimate. That we, us women, should always stand united, even though we mother in different ways. Being honest about postpartum won’t give you the pretty stories, but they are pure. It is all of the raw beauty of Motherhood. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and we believe that to be true. But it takes love and understanding to support a new mother, and who better than other mothers can do that.
The pregnancy of my first child was an intense one. Not so much physically, but mentally. I did not really prepare. I didn’t go to birthing classes and didn’t practice prenatal yoga. I didn’t endlessly buy baby clothes and didn’t read up on how to be a good parent. I just made sure I was aware of how I felt and tried to give in to my own needs. I ate when I was hungry and slept when I was tired. And everyday again I was trying to come to terms with the unbelievable that was happening; I was carrying a child. I promised myself and my unborn baby only a few things: 1. I would not be the mother to force beliefs and opinions on my child, 2. my child would be allowed to say no, 3. I would not post about my child on social media. Yet here I am writing my first blog on something as intimate as being pregnant and giving birth. Why? Because when you become a mother, may this ‘becoming’ take place during the transition of being just one woman to a woman carrying a child, or from being pregnant to having a baby, no one really tells you about how you will not only give birth to a child, but how you will rebirth yourself too. And how you will need the same nurturing, loving and maybe even guidance your baby does when entering this new, sometimes rough and unkind life.
We try hard to make pregnancy a celebration, while even that is not always the case. There is nausea and fatigue. There are aches and pains. But we smile through it because we are thankful and know it will all be worth it. And then after months of helping your baby grow, you do something magical; you help it into the world and all that you thought you knew you now don’t, and simultaneously, just like every other newborn mother before you, you were right about everything you thought to be true. You thank your God or you thank yourself and you might kiss your partner. You cry of happiness or you are just silently in awe and wonder. Your baby is the most beautiful child to have ever walked this earth. No matter which way you delivered your baby, labour was hard work but you would do it all over again, just for the magic of meeting this tiny human again for the first time.
I do think I understand why nobody tells you about postpartum. After a while the shine wears off a bit, and with good reason. There is nothing glamorous about the bloody pads in your huge underwear, and maybe not being able to sit from being stitched up from front to back. People stop checking in on you because their everyday life continues, while the hours in your days feel endlessly long because time kind of ceases to exist and your days are overlapping. You’re shushing and changing all these nappies and nursing or counting the hours until the next feeding. After a couple of weeks your newborn is seen as almost a full member of society while you, his mother, are figuring out these new dynamics still. ‘It’s not about you anymore’ is a common idea about Motherhood. You might even hear your loved ones tell you this. But it is a lie. You are a mother now, but you are also someone’s partner, someone’s friend, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter. You matter still, just as you did before you became a mom.
So no, we would never bother a happy but nervous expectant mother with those very real scenarios. But why don’t we? And why, with second to even eight times mothers, should mothering be less new? You have never been this mother before. In Greek mythology, Atlas was responsible for bearing the weight of the Heavens on his shoulders, but really, I doubt that he could ever. For your baby there will never, never be anything more celestial than you, her mother. And celestial you are. We should tell people to not hold the baby, but hold the mother instead, for your baby will be fine. Your baby has you.
So the real question is always; how are you doing? The postpartum mother. What do you need? How can we help? We, at a mother’s uniform, we know about your world. And we care about catering to it. Welcome to Motherhood. We will share your stories, and will make known all feelings that come with it. We are here to honour mothers, in all of the raw beauty of Motherhood.
One reply to “Welcome to Motherhood – part I”
Claudia GB
Thank you for sharing.
Here’s to us, Great Moms, May we know them, Be them and raise them.